Listen to the whisper within

Ten years ago I signed up for my first Awareness Institute weekend workshop because I’d had enough of myself. I’d had enough of the self-hatred and the self-pitying, enough of the shame and regret. I signed up for the workshop because something deep within me whispered, “There’s more to life than this.” A decade of living and loving later, I couldn’t be more grateful for that whisper.

A number of years prior I had experienced a significant turning point in my life, and it looked like a sudden and unexpected (and certainly unwelcome) loss of innocence. At 21 years old, the childhood-like ease of floating through the world with few cares and fewer responsibilities burst like a bubble, and I found myself without an anchor and without any context for what I was feeling. I was a victim of a harsh world and crappy luck. I couldn’t see a way out.

I can say without exaggeration that the Monday after that first workshop was one of the best days of my life. I experienced myself in a way that I hadn’t in a very long time: confident, clear, loving, and happy. Sure, I’d had moments over the years touching into these flavors of experience, but they were always quickly followed by an equal if not outsized serving of the opposite: anxiety, uncertainty, resentment, and depression. But this time, using the tools I had just learned in the workshop, I found myself sustaining an authentic feeling of peace. It was incredible.

And I haven’t looked back…except to marvel at how far I’ve come.

Yes, taking an honest look within oneself can be difficult at times. Most of us simply weren’t raised with the clear objectivity, the relentless self-love, or even just the vocabulary to initiate and sustain a practice of self-inquiry. But I can tell you from experience that it’s worth the journey, and it’s never out of reach no matter the thin delay tactics and avoidances we can so easily conjure up.

Perhaps the most empowering thing I continue to learn from Awareness Institute workshops is that I (and only I) am responsible for what I experience. Only I hold responsibility for the feelings and reactions and emotions that I bring to each moment, to each day, without exception.

This deeper understanding of what’s really going on is invaluable. It is also the most freeing truth I could ever hope to know.

Might you have a little whisper deep within, gently calling you towards a life of inspiration, trust, and love? Listen to it, and come join us at the Awareness Institute.

Kris

Kris has served on the Awareness Institute volunteer team since 2014.