Falling Into Freedom: My Journey Through Depression and Anxiety
For most of my adult life, I’ve battled depression and anxiety—a relentless storm filled with despair, overwhelm, and self-loathing. I tried countless medications, therapies, wellness retreats and quick fixes—exercise, diet changes, career moves, relationships—believing that each new endeavor might lift the fog. Yet, the initial relief or excitement always faded, and the darkness crept back, a persistent reminder of my struggles - as if I were brushing away the dust, but not addressing the underlying issue.
In April 2018 I took a leap of faith that changed everything. I attended my first workshop at the Awareness Institute - a decision fueled by desperation but also a spark of curiosity about what life could be beyond my struggles. I began to unravel the conditioning I had absorbed throughout my life—the beliefs instilled in me by my parents, society, and my own experiences. I learned how my personality had developed as a survival mechanism, and I discovered the tools to move energy and express my true self. For the first time, I experienced a glimpse of who I was beyond the “Anna” persona. It was like shedding a heavy coat I didn’t even realize I had been wearing.
The most profound realization from that weekend was this: I was at choice. I could cling to my limiting beliefs or choose to step into trust and freedom. It felt like awakening from a long slumber, seeing the world through a child’s eyes—filled with wonder and possibility.
Of course, I hoped for a quick fix, a magical solution that would permanently erase my struggles. While that weekend was indeed life-changing, it also became clear that healing is a continuous journey. Since then, I’ve attended more workshops, each one offering new insights and a deeper understanding of myself. I learned to confront my fears, to embrace my authentic self, and to find a supportive community of like-minded individuals.
Through this ongoing work, I’ve taken responsibility for my life and my feelings. Depression and anxiety still visit me from time to time, but their stays have grown shorter. I’ve learned to love myself, including those fragile parts that lash out in defense. I haven’t relied on medication in years; instead, I’ve developed the ability to sit with discomfort, to face fears, and to choose love over self-criticism.
Life now feels richer and more meaningful. My relationships with friends, family, and partners have flourished, grounded in authenticity and acceptance. Each day is a choice—a choice to engage with life, to seek joy, and to question what is true for me.
If you find yourself grappling with similar struggles, know that healing may not be linear, and the journey can be daunting, but it is filled with profound discovery and connection. Embrace the possibility of change, and remember that you have the power to redefine your narrative. You are enough, just as you are.
Come explore this for yourself at the next Awareness Institute workshop, Fall Into Freedom. This immersive and deeply supportive program meets you where you are and provides a powerful springboard for healing, wherever you are in your process. Learn more and register, or email info@awarenessinstitute.org to set up an introductory call with the outreach team.
Anna
Anna has served on the Awareness Institute volunteer team since 2019.